so maybe I'm coming to a few realizations. 

I cannot give my heart out

for free

like some kind of disease. 

life is magical. it is so easy to forget what's important and beautiful because we get so caught up in our own problems and let them get in the way of the true authenticity and natural appeal of our every day surroundings.

there will always be obstacles. there will always be fear. that is part of life. if these things did not exist, we would not seek an urge to grow. to grow is to change. and to change is to experience. 

It's a journey. I have such a long way, but I am getting closer every day. 

I can't deal but I will learn to.

you broke me. 

I am whole now. 

Build a wall of books between us in our bed
Repeat, repeat, the words that I know we both have said
Relax into the need, we get so comfortable
Remember when I was so strange and likeable?

I just want back in your head
I'm not unfaithful but I'll stray

When I get a little scared, I run, run, run
When I jerk away from holding hands with you
I know these habits hurt important parts of you

Remember when I was sweet and unexplainable?
Nothing like this person, un-loveable