detachment

it just doesn't add up.

next time I will not

expect. 

or be expected.

you are not real. 

and I swear

it was a dream. 

fill these holes with something thicker. 

you've put me through everything and nothing.

should I close the doors and stop this now? Or think that there's actually a possibility...

I need to write more. Songs, that is. I need to meditate. Start reading more. Call my parents. Take more walks around the city.

I need...

balance. 

I find myself constantly looking for the answer. trying to make sense of EVERYTHING all the time, and I've come to realize that that's just the way I am. But isn't it supposed to be like that? If we aren't trying to grow, or create new ideas, then what's the point? 

My question is why, more recently, have I become more and more hungry for the answers, more impatient, and more upset about it... It's not a self-realization thing, but at the same time it totally is. I could either slow myself down, simply sit back and just stop proving myself to myself. But... that's not fun.

I'm not sure where I am. Does anyone know? 

something is changing. I can feel it.